Mindfulness and Self-Compassion for Mental Wellness

Key takeaways

• The Reverse Bucket List

• The Importance of Self-Compassion

• An Extraordinary Gift

The Reverse Bucket List

Derived from the phrase, “to kick the bucket,” bucket lists are essentially a compilation of things to do, try, or see before you die. If you have never made one before, imagine creating a list of New Year’s resolutions that you try to hold yourself to accomplishing over a lifetime. If you love animals, maybe you want to ride an elephant? If you are a traveler, maybe you want to take your motorcycle across the country, or sail around the world? The list can be as long or feasible as you want, which is perhaps why so many people find bucket lists problematic.

Like New Year’s resolutions, my bucket list is intended for my ideal or best self. When I feel good, capable, and have the resources, it inspires me to take initiative to do things I otherwise can’t or won’t do for myself. When I am my every-day self or feeling even slightly below average, the list becomes more evidence of what I “should’ve” or “could’ve” done, and a glaring reminder of how much I have left to do. It becomes a pressure or burden in my life instead of a reminder of good things to come.

If you read parenting websites , Fast Company , or lifestyle blogs , you might have seen a new way of bucket-listing become increasingly popular over the last few years — The Reverse Bucket List . What’s the difference? Instead of writing down a list of things you hope to one day achieve, you write down a list of things you have already accomplished. The exercise forces us to revisit positive, meaningful, and proud moments from the past, reminds us of the progress we have already made, and gives us a gentle reminder of what we are capable of.

The Importance of Self-Compassion

We need to show ourselves the same compassion we offer others. Too frequently, we beat ourselves up over matters, big or small, in ways that we would never dream of treating someone else in our same or similar situation. How many times do you tell yourself, “I should know better,” or “I am so stupid,” or “I shouldn’t feel this way, other people have it worse than I do.” Well, maybe they do but that doesn’t matter. When we’re down, we’re down for a reason. Whether it has to do with a specific event or issue in life or because we have depression or some other mental health disorder, we do ourselves a disservice by the use of judgment.

Self-compassion begins with throwing judgment out the door. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Allow others to feel with you. Give yourself a break. Listen to the advice you would give someone else in your situation. Suffering occurs when we struggle against the extremes of pleasure and pain. As long as we chase after feeling good all of the time or do everything possible to avoid pain, we suffer. When we accept that sometimes we’re going to feel good and sometimes we’re not, we are able to find peace within. The amazing thing about this practice is that we are able to gain a realistic perspective about our situation and things begin to feel manageable once again. Self-compassion is a practice of mindfulness . Be present with your experience, without judgment. Be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

An Extraordinary Gift

April is National Autism Awareness Month, a nationwide effort to promote autism awareness, acceptance, and inclusion. Tens of thousands of individuals in our country face an autism diagnosis each year, and while autism itself is widespread, public awareness is not.

In celebration of the 2017 National Autism Awareness Month, we’d like to share the video below. Faith Jegede Cole is a British writer, speaker, and researcher who currently lives in Washington, D.C. She spreads awareness and understanding of the increasingly common autism diagnosis by speaking about her experiences growing up with two autistic brothers.

In this talk from the April 2012 TED Talent Search at TED London, Jegede introduces her extraordinary brothers – Remi, who is 22, does not speak, and loves unconditionally; and 16-year-old Samuel, a handsome boy with an impeccable, detailed memory. While each is very different from the other, both have been diagnosed with autism. And while the world may view her brothers as not ordinary, Jegede sees that her brothers are extraordinary. She reminds the audience that everyone has a gift, that everyone is extraordinary, and challenges us to use that potential for greatness.

When to reach out

If symptoms are affecting relationships, work, school, sleep, or daily routines, professional support can help you sort through what is happening and choose a realistic next step.

MHCS provides therapy and mental health support for individuals, couples, families, teens, and adults.