Purposeful Parenting and Family Mental Health

Key takeaways

• Purposeful Parenting

• Many Families

• The Challenge of Children’s Mental Health

• What to Be Aware of if Mental Illness Runs in Your Family

Purposeful Parenting

“Beware the Sleep Deprived Mom” A friend gave me a mug with this inscription on it after the birth of my first child. Foreshadowing?? Yes. The other day as I was feeling particularly ornery and not bringing my best self to the table, my children suggested I should be drinking out of this mug. Touche.

I share this vignette as I write this blog in the hopes of coming from a place of authenticity and vulnerability–vulnerability, not defined as weakness, but as a place of courage which transforms our relationships (Daring Greatly, 2012). Perhaps this also becomes an excellent approach toward parenting: coming from a place of authenticity and vulnerability.

As parents, we are connected on some level by the truth that the endeavor of raising children is humbling, exhausting, and utterly . . . joyful. And we are likely seeking not only survival of this process but also the experience of creating someone/ something meaningful all the same. I think that as parents, we can create greater value in our experience and in our children’s experiences by approaching our interactions with intention and mindfulness. This awareness transcends beyond our engagements with our children and also encompasses our sense of self. These strike me as fundamental starting points to approach the idea of purposeful parenting.

Let’s talk about the value of self care in the role of purposeful parenting. My “intention” is to start with this as a building block around how we parent (and so it doesn’t get skipped toward the end). Now, for anyone challenging this notion with the idea that you don’t have time for self care, consider the following.

Many Families

Football season has been the prime time focus for many Minnesotans, regardless of their interest in sports, thanks to this year’s Super Bowl. So much so, in fact, that many have forgotten we are in the middle of another big season for TV consumption, and I am not referring to winter…

Awards season kicked off with the Golden Globes, most recently celebrated the SAG awards, and will end in March with the Academy Awards. While I have historically not had much interest in either football or awards season, for me, 2018 was more personal. With football, the investment is perhaps more obvious. I wanted to cheer on the home team that could go down in history books as the first to have home-field advantage in a Super Bowl.

With the awards shows, I wasn’t necessarily pulled in because of the #metoo movement, or because of the first all-female presenters night (though both are historically significant in their own right). Instead, I found myself invested in the stories being awarded, and what these stories have meant to the individuals and families I see or talk to every day. Don’t get me wrong, I have always enjoyed movies and TV shows. As a child roughly thirty years ago, “Growing Pains” or “Family Ties” helped shape my ideas of family, or at least what family was supposed to be.

The Challenge of Children’s Mental Health

I grew up in an era (the 50’s and 60’s) when mental health was not discussed at all, let alone considered as something that children had. Children could have separation anxiety; nervous stomachs, concentration problems or were labeled as “sensitive”, “angry” or “different”.

Adolescence was supposed to be somewhat difficult and the behaviors we now see as potential symptoms of mood, anxiety, or thought disorders were not viewed through the lens of mental health. Behaviors were seen as problems not as symptoms of underlying issues. The pediatrician was often the only first line of mental health assessment.

Children and teens can and do experience intense emotions. It is normal to feel sad or anxious about school, family, and friendships. Body changes, hormonal changes, physiological changes can contribute to fluctuating moods. Mental health disorders are different in the persistence, duration, and intensity of the symptoms.

What to Be Aware of if Mental Illness Runs in Your Family

Q: Are Mental Health Conditions Genetic?

A: Yes, but it’s important to understand that mental health conditions develop from both genetic and environmental factors. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics , if members of your family have a certain psychiatric disorder, for example Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD); depression; bipolar disorder; or schizophrenia, you have a higher chance of inheriting the same mental health condition. The academy goes on to clarify that although mental illnesses can be passed down to children, they will not follow a traditional pattern of inheritance. What this means is that you may inherit a milder case of depression, while your sibling or cousin has a more severe case.

Q: Will I Inherit My Parent’s Mental Illness?

A: Though you have a higher chance of inheriting a mental illness if a preexisting condition is part of your family’s genetic makeup, the outcome is not certain ( Psychology Today ). Mental illness is not the result of a single gene but of numerous genes that interact with each other in a particular way ( BBC News Magazine ). In fact, even if you have no history of mental illness in your family, you may still exhibit certain behaviors that are associated with a particular psychiatric disorder, especially if you experience a traumatic event or have engaged in substance abuse.

Q: What Signs or Symptoms Should I Be Aware Of?

A: As with every aspect of your health and wellness, it’s important to understand the early signs of a mental health condition, so you can recognize its symptoms and seek professional medical treatment.

When to reach out

If symptoms are affecting relationships, work, school, sleep, or daily routines, professional support can help you sort through what is happening and choose a realistic next step.

MHCS provides therapy and mental health support for individuals, couples, families, teens, and adults.